Do you have a problem with this behaviour? Anger – what does it do?
In the heat of the moment, there is an immensely strong conviction that our opinions are totally right, almost “fact” and that everyone else is wrong and this makes it incredibly hard to get anyone to understand reasoning. When we eventually calm down, we often find ourselves feeling very bad about what has happened, feeling regretful for what has taken place and needing to work hard to make-up for what has been said or done.
There is a time and a place for feeling angry, it really does have a useful purpose, if we are threatened, the emotion of anger can give us energy and strength to fight off a threat of any kind, to protect ourselves and the people we care for. Anger can also motivate us to right a wrong, or to stand up for something we strongly believe in. We actually become stronger physically, due to the adrenaline flowing through our body’s and we feel less pain and are less susceptible to uncomfortable feelings that might get in the way, such as being self-consciousness and tentative.
This is what makes anger appear to be such an incredible emotion, because it gives us the feeling that everything is clear and we are so certain about everything when we are in a temper!
However, in the complex world in which we live things are rarely just black or white, or even simple for that matter. When we are angry, we often experience what is called “emotional hijacking” – that is, the overwhelming emotion of intense anger “hijacks” our capacity to think calmly and clearly, and to be able to see alternative ways of looking at a situations.
In other words, the more anger we have, the more “unwise” we become, because we get locked into tunnel thinking and the way we look at things. This may have been useful, all those years ago, when we were fighting wild animals in the jungle, but it’s a terrible way of dealing with most disagreements in modern life. To a very angry person, other people become nothing more than objects to be acted upon rather than people to be interacted with and treating people as objects has significant damaging effects upon relationships in both personal life and in the workplace.
It used to be commonly believed that it is always good to get anger out of your system; that to vent and “let off steam” is somehow healthy.
It has been shown in various psychological experiments that people who vented their anger by repeatedly shouting about how they felt or being physical and perhaps damaging things actually ended up feeling even angrier than before. Their blood pressure went up and they actually felt worse than when they started, it actually created a negative cycle where anger became a habit.
It is also worth noting that anger does more damage to the heart than any other emotion. When extremely angry, the pumping efficiency of the heart can drop by as much as 7 % - enough to cause a heart attack in susceptible people. People who are very prone to anger are three times more likely to suffer severe heart disease than more even tempered people. So not only is anger potentially damaging in relationships of all kinds, it can be extremely bad for health.
Therefore, allow hypnotherapy and counselling to assist in:
- gaining insight into the reasons behind why you may have an “anger” behaviour;
- greatly reduce or overcome the anger;
- instinctively learn to calm yourself down and think rationally; and
- build-up your confidence and self-respect.
For further information contact us on (03) 5223 2370 or via email
Karen Holt Clinical Hypnotherapy and Counselling
Clinical Hypnotherapist
AMAHS, MASCH, NFH