For change to occur within us, self-acceptance is considered the prerequisite. It can be achieved by stopping criticizing and beating ourselves up. That is, tolerating and accepting of our imperfections.

So what is Self-Acceptance? 

The dictionary defines self-acceptance as:

• the awareness of one's strengths and weaknesses,
• the realistic (yet subjective) appraisal of one's talents, capabilities, and general worth, and,
• feelings of satisfaction with one's self despite deficiencies and regardless of past behaviours and choices.

Self-acceptance involves self-understanding, a realistic, albeit subjective, awareness of one's strengths and weaknesses. It results in an individual's feeling about oneself that they are of "unique worth".

A person who has a high level of self-acceptance:

• has a positive self-attitude,
• acknowledges and accepts all aspects of themselves (the good and the bad),
• is not self-critical or confused about their identity, and,
• does not wish they were any different from who they already are.

So what is your own, personal definition of self-Acceptance that will allow you to lead the life you desire?

Striving to improve the self is terrific, but also knowing our limitations and accepting those for what they are and feeling calm about the outcomes means that you see yourself objectively and can stop feeling inadequate, beating yourself up and feeling guilty.

Of course, we can all work on improving ourselves more than we actually believe that we can, however, we all vary to some degree.  We all have different levels of natural ability, some are better at sport than others and others are more academically inclined.  To work on improving things we need to “back” ourselves, we need to recognise that we all have limitations and we all have certain strengths and weaknesses, however, it is the strengths that will help us move forward to achieve the goals we wish to achieve.

Self-acceptance is being able to “access yourself fairly” so that you are able to be calm about things, rather than beating yourself up or getting upset.  It doesn’t mean that we can’t strive to change or improve ourselves, however, to acknowledge our weaker points and encourage ourselves to grow while further developing those stronger points too.

When we have self-acceptance we begin to acknowledge our achievements, defining our own values and setting our own standards of approval, no longer do we need to bluff our way through things or feel inadequate and just feel OK as you are.

When we respond to what others think of us, we put too much pressure on ourselves and behave in ways that aren’t really true to ourselves.

The fact is that different people have different strengths and weaknesses and wouldn’t it be boring if we were all the same, however, you can learn from others and watch how they respond to situations or other people and if their behaviour is acceptable to yourself, then perhaps you may adopt some of those qualities that you aspire to.

It is really OK, to say ‘I am not good at something” or “you are not sure about things”, it is about having the ability to relax with the limitations that you feel you may have.

You can also allow yourself to accept other aspects of your life, such as background, lifestyle or culture, etc.; we do not need to beat ourselves up because we don’t “fit in”. You are a unique, valuable and worthwhile person.

In fact when you accept yourself for whom you are, you will begin to have greater clarity as to just what you feel you need to improve or make changes within your life.

Therefore, allow hypnotherapy and counselling to assist you to:

• use your imagination to practise being the way you want to be,
• Let the subconscious mind know of the framework that you want to act on;
• Learn to use the subconscious mind to act spontaneously, respond to the images created making them a reality – just like learning to ride a bike or driving a car;
• Engage all of the body’s senses to create the life you want – see it, feel it, hear it, taste it or even smell the life you would like to have and all of the components that go with it, accepting yourself for whom you are; and
• Use your imagination to be and act in certain ways, be able to name it. You need to know what you would like to achieve before you begin to work on improving it, equally, how do you know what self- acceptance is without being able to imagine what it is like.  Or having an idea of it?  

Create the images of how you wish to be and how you wish to live your life.

For further information contact us on (03) 5223 2370 or via email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.   

Karen Holt Clinical Hypnotherapy and Counselling
Clinical Hypnotherapist
AMAHS, MASCH, NFH

Image credit: flickr.com